Automakers pin hopes on "Hunks for Clunkers" to woo gay buyers

Controversial plan pairs hot men with new vehicle purchases

Below: Promotional shots of one of Nissan's proposed hunks

Gay Car Guy Exclusive Updated April 1, 2009 As automakers cope with plunging sales, many are backing "Hunks for Clunkers", a new initiative aimed at gay men. The plan is modeled after President Obama's "Cash for Clunkers" stimulus for new car buyers. "Cash for Clunkers" promises $5,000 in rebates for buyers who trade in their old cars for new, more efficient models. "Hunks for Clunkers" goes a step further, providing a week with a smokin' hot hunk for private sessions of "asset familiarization". One proponent of "Hunks for Clunkers" was GM's Rick Wagoner, who endorsed the idea before stepping down as CEO. "This plan benefits the greater economy," Wagoner said. "As the recession deepens and people tighten their belts, we will aim to loosen some of those belts and maybe take them off altogether." Wagoner added, "It is a simple message to gay men: if Manhunt and the bars have failed you, look to the car industry. Our vehicles are solid and well-built, and so are our hunks." Backlash from the political right has been swift. "'Hunks for Clunkers' gives special rights to a population that already has every advantage," said Rush Limbaugh in a radio broadcast. "I mean, come on, we've all seen those White Party B-rolls - those guys get more tail in a day than straight guys get all year. "As usual, it's the straight men who have to work harder," Limbaugh continued. "There's no talk of subsidizing the twelve-pack of beer a straight guy would have to drink to enjoy this benefit." But Wagoner said that while the program is specifically geared toward gay men, all buyers are welcome to "test drive a hunk". "It's true that some of the hunks are gay-for-pay," Wagoner said, citing talks of a GM-Chrysler-Sean Cody alliance. "That gives us some wiggle room in terms of the opportunities this opens up. "While this program provides gay men with a new vehicle and a Mr. Right Now, it can also clear up some lingering curiosities on the part of straight men," Wagoner said. "These men can learn about their new car's navigation system while 'accidentally' brushing against the hunk's rippling chest," he said. "Not everyone had the opportunity to 'get too drunk' at a college football kegger, so here is a safe way to experience that - and to help the economy in the process." Congress votes on "Hunks for Clunkers" next month.